Just a reminder, the*mp* means it’s a mom post, which means it’s about my mom who’s no longer with us. Let me rephrase that, she is with us, just on another frequency. In other words, what I’m saying is, if you don’t want to read about death or dying then you’ll want to stop round about here…
I’ve mentioned previously that my mom died from cardiac and respiratory failure, after an operation to remove what we thought was a goiter. But it turns out it wasn’t that. My mom had one of the most rare, most deadly cancers. She had anaplastic carcinoma of the thyroid. Googling it you’ll read things like:
Anaplastic tumors are the least common (only 1% of all thyroid cancer cases) and most deadly of all thyroid cancers. This cancer has a very low cure rate with the very best treatments. Most patients with anaplastic thyroid cancer do not live 1 year from the day they are diagnosed.
The surgeons reckon it was so advanced they wouldn’t have been able to guarantee that my mom would live for more than six months. And as much as I’m angry and sad that she passed on, I’m also glad she didn’t suffer what would have invariably been a painful and slow death, which would have included a tracheostomy.
Because I believe (as kooky as it may seem to some) in the spirit world I have been in touch with two people, to ‘speak’ to my mom. The most recent one did a channeling, and whether you’re ‘into’ it or not, yesterday’s session brought me a huge amount of healing, to a point where as much as I feel the sadness of my mom not physically being here with me, I also feel some happiness knowing that I have the best guardian angel anyone could ask for (thanks for pointing that out to me Linda!)
I’ve been beating myself up, and have been pissed off with anyone and everyone for not telling me enough to know I should have spent more time with her. That I should have been with my mom when she died, but like Linda (once again wisely) pointed out, my mom was so selfless she wouldn’t have let herself go if we were with her. She would have held on just so she didn’t ‘let us down’ or inconvenience us in any way.
***As an aside Linda isn’t the psychic but rather a very dear family friend, who, with her two sisters, have been my greatest support.***
What put my mind at ease and lifted my spirits a little was the psychic saying the soul knows when it’s going to leave and so my mom and I had had our ‘goodbye’. It wasn’t necessary for me to have been with her at the end. I was with her when it mattered.
In amongst the tears, I had to giggle when she relayed that my mom apologizes for the paperwork I’ve had to go through. If you’ve spoken to me in the last few weeks it’s probably one of the things I’ve moaned about the most. My mom had water and light bills from 1994! I kid you not. And it hasn’t been a case of just dumping it all, because in between 1994 bills and statements there have been more current documents. So I’ve had to sit, painstakingly going through each and every one of the folders. And I’m not done yet!
There were some things said that left me a little worried and sad, but with a sense of understanding. And I know that the human spirit can survive the most insurmountable of situations. I feel like I’ve been give a chance to ready myself for what’s still to come.
Like so many other fortune tellers, psychics and clairvoyants (and kooks if you must) she sees me writing a book, and down the line I’m sitting signing copies. I’m hoping I find out sooner rather than later what my story is so I can eventually tell the bloody thing.
I really feel like I should be letting my mom ‘settle in’ without me bugging her every other day, but for me right now it’s the confirmations I need to bring me some kind of inner peace. And it seems to be working.
Allow me to share this little bit of wisdom with you. As cliched as it is, if you’re lucky enough to have both your mom and dad with you, or just one of them, cherish them. Cherish the time you have with them. Soak up their ‘silly’ stories, let them repeat themselves over and over again if necessary. Pop in just because. Phone them. Whatsapp them. Skype them. Let their treasured memories become yours because before you know it they’re no longer a 20 minute drive or telephone call away. And what was will never be again xxx