As is often the case with my blog posts, this one is all over the place, but all the roads, in a round about way, lead to the same conclusion.
A (black) friend of mine once joked that black people don’t have asthma or allergies and that everything is treatable with a panado. When I told her Emma might be asthmatic she said it’s because we’re raising Emma ‘white’.
Clearly we are, because Ben recently did an allergy test and his results were the worst the doctor has ever seen. Ben is pretty much allergic to everything.
Recently while we were on holiday we had someone mention Emma’s weight. And that what we as parents were doing to her was verging on abuse, which I refused to believe. Ben eats pretty much the same as his sister and yet his weight is constant.
What I have realised is that we are so much more than what we present to people. We are so much more than our face, body, hair or dress size. Who we are and what makes us tick, runs deeper than our parents, grandparents and great grandparents.
We are a complex complicated bunch and yet we sum people up after one look, one encounter, one exchange.
I’ve spoken before about our Body Talk session and the various issues Emma has around digestion, absorbing nutrients, her sugar cravings and her ‘puffiness’. After hearing about ‘live blood analysis’ earlier this year I made an appointment with a highly recommended homeopath, and once again I am astounded by our body’s memory, what we hold on to, how complex out systems as a whole are, and how everything affects everything else.
Results from the body analysis (pretty much like body talk but with a computer) show that Emma is or will be insulin resistant. She has an underlying thyroid and hormone problem, a ‘leaky’ tummy, she doesn’t do well with dairy, grapes (of all things), any artificial additives and corn. Due to a previous physical and or emotional stress her body is constantly in a state of fright or flight and her adrenal glands produce too much cortisol. This could have been as a result of the abandonment, the adoption or battling to find her place in the world now.
For Emma it’s not a case of cutting out sugar because she CRAVES it. As for dairy, she’s been on it her whole life, from birth, with formula. Even if she was raised by a black family she would have problems with what is traditionally a ‘staple’, like pap, mielie meal, samp or maize, because it’s all corn. And even if it’s the not the actual corn Emma battles with, it’s the MSGs that are added to it.
So no, my daughter isn’t fat and no, we’re not crappy parents. Emma is the sum of her experiences and she’s trying to deal with it with food BUT her body’s demanding all the foods it can’t and shouldn’t have.
Every single person you meet is facing some kind of a battle. And there’s a chance their demon is a constant companion. Don’t be so quick to judge or tease. Don’t assume to know a person’s journey. My little girl, at the age of six, has experienced more pain (consciously or not) than anyone should ever have to go through in a lifetime.
For those interested we did a Body Talk session and a visit to a homeopath. Both would be considered long term treatments because they’re not only treating the symptoms, but the possible causes too.
We have seen various GPs who have given her laxatives, which tons degree has brought her tummy down, but it’s a short term fix, in my opinion.
I, for various reasons, have a body that lives in fright or flight mode, and I’m always in a state of survival, which messes with my cortisol levels but I handle it differently, to Emma, and to others.
My goal for Emma is to be at a place where her mind and body are healthy and in sync. I don’t care what she weighs or looks like, but to know she is well will be the happy ending I’m after.