So here’s a question, and it’s a strange one, especially cos it’s with regards to my black child. And we all know black children don’t suffer from disorders or illnesses but rather amafufunyana.
Ben hates noise. Except when he’s making it. We have to race through through fridge sections of woolworths and other stores because of the noise they make. He’ll complain his blanket stinks or that there’s a horrible smell in the house. It does and there is, but never so bad for it to be commented on.
Looking at symptoms of some disorders, like sensory processing disorder, there’s a lot I can definitely say no to but then there are a few where I have to nod in quiet agreement. Ben’s mood can go from shiny happy to out of this world ‘moerrig’. This morning we had a 45 minute meltdown because, um, it was because, I can’t even remember. But I certainly can’t forget the temper tantrum that carried on and on and on and on.
Then this afternoon, he walked into the house happy as Larry, from school, laughing, playing, and then BAM! Just like that there was crying and screaming and hitting because Emma went to the neighbour’s house in front of Ben. Ben wanted to be first. The triggers are so small, the effects enormous and it just leaves everyone feeling exhausted, helpless and irritated.
We try placate where we can. So if Emma jumped out the bath before him and he’s yelling blue murder we ask Emma to jump back in so he can be ‘first’ to get out. But it’s not fair on her. Nine times out of ten Emma’s behavior is angelic (or as close as damn it) yet Ben gets all the attention.
Has anyone got some suggestions? Is there a possibility that Ben has some kind of a disorder, is he just kak naughty or has he been amafufunyana‘d?