The other day I read a blog post on Huffington Post about a mom who had decided to not shout at her kids anymore. She gave  her reasons for her decisions and most rang true for me too. That empty feeling in my stomach at the end of a day kept me awake at night and I’d lie in bed regretting my banshee type screeches and yells.

I’d try to fall asleep feeling like the worst mother on earth and a little voice would ask “how’s this working for you?” And I’d have to meekly answer that it wasn’t. It wasn’t what I had in mind when I became a mother.

What slapped me in the face, hard, was her writing how she’d be on her best behaviour in public, remaining cool and calm because of her audience, but what about her audience that was always watching? Her four children.

I try and teach Emma and Ben to be polite, to not shout or get angry at each other and yet I allow myself to lose my rag on a daily basis, screaming and shouting at them. And I, like most parents know, it’s not what you say but what you do with your children that matters most.

It was three days ago that I read her post and three days since I shouted.  I’ve found we’re all a lot more relaxed around each other and I haven’t seen that petrified look on Emma’s face. I’m not saying it’s been easy but it’s definitely easier than I thought it would be. And it could also be also complete coincidence but they both seem to be cooperating better.

I feel better. I haven’t had that horrible feeling in my stomach and I haven’t had any regrets at the end of the day.

I don’t know how long this no shouting rule will last but at least if that little voice, at the end of the day, asks “how’s this working for you?” I can honestly answer so far so good.

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6 thoughts on “This is a no shouting zone

  1. I've really tried doing this too – it's made a huge difference. I used to feel so bad about every freak out that I used to take them aside afterwards and apologise to them. Since we've made the change things aren't perfect – but definitely better.

  2. I grew up in a house where there were lots of shouting. It affected me in such a way that when I was already an adult and somebody shouted at me I would inwardly cringe. So I made the decision never to shout at my children. It had an amazing affect. When my oldest was in Grade 2 and I had to go for a parent/teacher meeting the teacher told me that my son stopped her one day when she was shouting at the class and said to her. “Juffrou jy mag nie op ons skree nie, my ma skree nooit eens vir my nie.” LOL! Funny moment that. My children are now all parents and they also don't shout.

  3. Like I say I don't know if it's a coincidence but the last few days they've been far more cooperative without me screaming and shouting. Even if it's not actually working I'm feeling less stressed and and lot happier by the time I put my head on the pillow

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