We know kids say strange things every now and then and as a parent I find myself saying some crazy stuff too.

But every now and then I think how crazy it would be if a man ACTUALLY said:

Honey I love what you’re doing with the hair on your legs. I love running my fingers through it

Angel you look exhausted. Why not go lie down and I’ll cook, bath, feed and entertain the kiddies. Without calling you. At all

Hey there’s sports on all night but here’s the remote. I’ll watch reruns of Friends with you for as long as you want

When last did you go out and buy a few nice things with shoes to match? Go! Go! Get outta here you crazy goose. I don’t want to see you come home with less than 10 shopping bags

Use my car. I love the lived-in look your car has. Maybe you can do something similar with mine

Angel I really don’t feel like sex tonight. Can I just cuddle in your arms while you read a book

I know I snore. And it irritates me too

There is no way that that 20 year old is cuter than you. You’re my little love monkey

See you in about four hours. I’m taking the kids out to give you some peace and quiet!

There is NO way I’m letting you get up for the baby tonight. I’ll do it

Let me give you a massage. Shut the front door! No I don’t want sex as payback

Ugh! That blonde with those enormous boobs are so 1980s. Of course I prefer your grunge look. It’s so retro it’s cool!

You manage money so well. Here’s all of mine. Go and do with it what you will

Laugh out loud! I love that none of my socks match. Makes me look like an artiste

You really don’t have enough male friends. Why don’t you go to TeaseHers and find a few. We can have them over for a braai on the weekend

Oh! No electricity! Yes the most important football match of the century is on tonight but that doesn’t matter. Let’s sit on the couch and chat about our feelings. No, of course I don’t want to meet my pals at the Baron & Beaver

OMG! I need to get working on the kid’s party. I’ll call the venue, the party planner, get hold of a photographer, plan the food, the games and entertainment. All you need to do is arrive on the day

Love, you don’t have enough face creams or hair products in the bathroom. There’s loads of space for more

Of course you can use my razor

I love your bedtime outfit. No one else can rock stretched out holey sweat pants and socks like you do

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4 thoughts on “What men never ever say…but would…I think!

  1. If only!!
    Nice blog, by the way. Sorry it took me a while to get to you. Am a bit technology backward and have only just hit a D+ in WordPress. But I did manage, via http://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/author/reluctantmom/ to reblog this post on my blogsite: http://rosfromscratch.wordpress.com/
    Must warn you, though, that I am not a true and honoury member of the Mommy Blogger brigade … so there is no discussions about nappies, teething and pre-school options where I come from.

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