Pre-kids, I was that mom that said ‘my child will never do THAT’ and ‘there’s no way my child would behave THAT way’ and ‘if my child ever did THAT, I’d …’ and of course ‘there’s no way I’d put up with THAT’.
Guess what? I’m now a mom and my toddler is doing all of THAT, plus some. Emma is the little girl that has a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. When she is good she is very very good but when she’s not she is horrid!
My friends now look on as Emma digs her heels in and shouts ‘no’ when she doesn’t want to do something. When she’s in one of those moods there’s not much you can do. You talk to her and she hits out. You try reason with her and she tries to hit again.
I love my Emma to bits. And pieces. But there are times when I really worry as to what I’m doing wrong. Why doesn’t she listen when I speak to her. Why, at the end of a party or day out, can Emma not just take my hand and walk to the car instead of ask / beg / plead / cry / insist / persist / scream that we stay for ‘just two more minutes’. How does my angel turn into a possessed toddler at the drop of a hat?
I drive myself insane with the hundreds of thoughts swirling around in my head. If only I did that better, if only I had sorted that out sooner, if I had just done a, b and c before x, y and z then I wouldn’t be in p o o p. Why can’t I be that perfect Hollywood movie mom whose kids are always super clean, super well behaved and just all round super?
But there are moments when I remind myself that my little girl is only three. She, like me, is still trying to figure this thing out. And my stress levels drop. Slightly.
What I am hoping for is that my passport to Guilt expires soon. Of course I’ll be making a few more trips there before it does.