A friend of mine bought a set of nipple caps from the recent sexpo. Yes it’s a real friend. It’s not me pretending to be the friend. I wear nipple caps everyday. They’re called shoes!

So this friend of mine buys a pair of nipple caps. She thinks they’ll be great for those passionate nights with the man in her life. She tries them on once or twice but soon finds out that the double sided tape is removing layers of her epidermis. Taking them off is far too painful and there really isn’t a return on investment so they soon end up, unused, in one of the drawers of her bedside table.

Forgotten in the drawer along with the nine foot adult (unused) toy (proving that one size does not fit all), the weight loss soap and breast enlarging cream for company, the nipple caps spent their days dreaming of strippers and sadomasochists.

Months later my friend’s niece was visiting with her mom and my friend suggested that her niece go play ‘dress up’ in her room. While aforementioned friend was having coffee and a chat downstairs the little girl was in heaven – high heeled shoes, makeup, nail polish, a jewellery box and a whole lot more.

She tried on dresses and petticoats. Shoes with heels, shoes with sparkles, flip flops, slippers, sandals, boots. She applied makeup – lipstick for rouge, eyeliner for lipstick, blue eyeshadow, purple eyeshadow, green eyeshadow. She rubbed off the black ‘lipstick’, put on red lipstick’ wiped off the red lipstick, put on pink lipstick, took that off too. Reapplied the red lipstick. Discovered the jewellery box. Pearls, brooches. Earrings from the 80’s, dangly earrings, cubic zirconia earrings, clip ons, hoops, studs.

After an hour or so she made her way down the stairs to show off her new look. Very pleased with herself she did a twirl, rattled the jewellery and pouted her lips.She showed off her makeup skills and glowed when mom and auntie commented on a job well done. She put the too-big handbag’s strap back on her shoulder and did another turn for good measure.

And then they saw her hair. On either side of her head were long shiny silver tassels…which were attached to the nipple caps!

She had discovered THE drawer and a novel use for the nipple caps. And then they peered in the handbag. Oh yes! She had discovered the drawer!

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3 thoughts on “Nipple Caps and Hair Clips

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