Emma’s hair saga continues. Last night a friend of mine came over to do something to attempt to do something with Emma’s hair.

She was gentle and sweet and kind with Emma and knew all the tricks. She put vaseline around the hairline and had Emma help – all in front of a mirror. Little Miss Em was in her ’emmament’ as she stared at her reflection hearing how cute/pretty/gorgeous/beautiful she is.

Emma was happy to have the relaxer put on. She was happy when Niki massaged it in (only a little) and was also unfazed by having it washed out. She was content having the detangler put on but when the (rather expensive) comb came out Emma ran and hid. And screamed and cried. And there was no one near her.

As much as we begged and pleaded and bribed, Emma wouldn’t let us brush, comb, condition or tie it back.

This morning when she left for school she looked like my favourite treasure troll from the 80’s…

Niki, being black, assured me that if it’s done properly it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as our little sprogs would have us believe so the new plan is to take Emma to Niki’s house where Niki and her 16 year old daughter will do her attempt to do her hair. I’ll leave her there. I trust Niki implicitly so I know they won’t hurt her and if she screams and cries and hollers and performs I won’t be there to witness it.

You know that saying “if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound”. Well, I’m adapting it a little “if a child screams while she’s having her hair done and you’re not there to hear it does she actually scream”.


9 thoughts on “My little treasure troll

  1. We are keeping Thuli's hair as natural as possible. She is getting a real afro, and all we do is use a leave in nourisher and use a headband to keep it back.

    My Mom-In-Law is a Doctor in a township and she has noticed balding in teens and twenties from braiding, straightening etc. So Thuli can choose for herself when she is older, for now she will look like a natural child.

  2. Like you I don't want to braid, plait, straighten or do anything else to her hair. At the moment our biggest challenge is just getting the knots out.

    What would you suggest? Should we shave it / cut it short and let it grow with us combing it so Emma can get used to it?

    We can't get a comb near her. What nourisher do you use if you don't mind me asking? I need all the help I can get

  3. We have let it be. Knots and all. We are training it back with a headband and as soon as it is long enough we will tie it back to have one of those backwards facing 'fros. Her hair was shaved at the children's home, so we started by letting it grow out as her scalp was dry and had some infections. Now it is much too late to start combing. good luck.

  4. Just looked at the website you mentioned by lashayhicks, it is great! Wish I had found it sooner! Although we have a routine, I have been using only 1 style, and would love to try some others. I just have problem getting her hair into neat sections, as she wriggles so much! I am not even that good with my own hair, but I hope I can manage some other basic styles.
    I also considered getting her hair shaved off about a year ago,to get a 'fresh start', but at the salon they could not get the machine through the knots, which is why we eventually resorted to cutting, as I described that was quite traumatic and resulted in screaming and writhing. So her hair is very uneven now. You can't really tell unless you pull it straight. I am trying to prepare her now to get it cut properly, but I will make sure it is combed out first!

  5. Our twins Nickolas and Emma have presented the same challenges and chaos when it has come to dealing with their hair. At best I have learnt not to sweat the small stuff, at worse I have pulled my own fine follicles by their roots. Most of all, I have learnt to go with my mommy instinct. I may not understand or know black hair – hell, I barely understand my own – but I do know when my little 4 year old is happy with her appearance and her brother feels “cool” with his 'dreads' … I see the confidence that it gives them, I smile at the comments they make … When Emma was two, she decided she wanted 'long' hair like Mommy. Makulu, our amazing caregiver and other mother, brought her niece who proceeded, over a period of 7 hours, to transform my little angel from Grace Jones to a darker version of Shirley Temple. I wasn't sure about it all, but the thing was – she was. So we let it go. Now, four months after the fact, we have cut them off and her hair is thicker than it ever was – my babas, most especially Emma, have been follically challenged, to put it politely. My advice? Relax without relaxer … Rather let them want to have it done at a later stage when they don't look at a comb and a hairdresser with such terror and trepidation that the whole thang becomes a maelstrom of hysteria … Let it be, and let it go … After all, they are only children once

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