Most things are better homemade…cookies, chocolate cake, a family roast. Other things are nicer from a shop like clothes, shoes (you should have seen the pair I tried to make), handbags…and babies.

I’m not Emma and Ben’s birth mom and I often joke with people that I swapped them for a Blackerry and an iPod, respectively. Seriously though they weren’t swapped for anything. In fact Emma and Ben are ‘shop bought’ and I’m more than happy with this. The truth is Mark and I couldn’t have made anything near as perfect as our pigeon pair on our own. If they had been produced courtesy of our genes they’d have a funny ear (a la me), sinus and nose problems (a la Mark), major hang ups (yes, me again) and a rather abnormally large forehead (guess who?)

But instead of starting life off on the back foot Emma and Ben are absolutely perfect – they are beautiful, sun kissed angels sans the wings. Emma is funny and bright. She is charming and sunny. Her smile lights up a room and the twinkle in her brightens up a dreary mood. She is independent an stubborn. She’s nobody’s pushover but she’s still a girlie girl. She adores her little brother (in fact I think she thinks we got him just for her) and has a heart the size of an ‘elephants’ bum’. She is compassionate and kind and wants to put a plaster on anything that’s hurting, including a heart.

Ben is coming out of his first three months and is doing so much better. The colic or reflux has eased and he’s no longer an angry, pooping, crying, drinking machine. In the thick of things I was told ‘this too shall pass’ and you were all right. Ben is smiling and ‘chatting away. I think he smiled back at me the other day (or he was just having a major poo) and my heart melted. His smile stretches across his face. He dotes on the attention from his big sister and hers is the voice he responds to the most.

Both of them are loved beyond measure, by us, and by friends and family. More so I think than if they were our own. I’ve asked friends whether it’s because they’re adopted and there’s maybe a small amount of pity and the answer has been a resounding ‘no’. They are so loved because they were so wanted and everyone knows that. Not a day a goes by (tantrums and all) that I don’t count myself incredibly lucky that Emma and Ben chose us to be a part of their adventure…

Emma makes shopping a hoot
Cupcakes are vegetables…aren’t they?
Seriously mom, you crack me up!
Did someone say nappy head?
Big sis and little dude xxx

9 thoughts on “Sometimes shop bought is better than homemade…

  1. Hi Melinda

    Sorry but how can you refer to your children as store bought?

    I understand the sentiment that because your children dont share your genes that you are using this analogy but I am sitting here gobb smacked that you of all people have used this analogy. You make it seem like anyone can rush off and buy a child. Adoption is anything but that.

    As a Birthmother and a Mother and a Surrogate Mother I actually am appalled that you have used this reference.

    And I know you dont mean to offend anyone and it was probably meant as a complement to your children's birth-parents but I am offended by the implication that children 1 can be bought and that biological children are floored and imperfect because they could receive some of our imperfections.

  2. Thanks for leaving a comment. I actually took out the bit about offending anyone – I figured the people who read my blog know my rather tongue in cheek sense of humour and my immense love for my children.

    In no way is this post a commentary on anyone elses life, their biological children, their flaws and imperfections or anything else. It's a post about my children, my love for them, my infertility and the fact that my husband and I could not have more perfect children, even if they were our own.

    As a mother to two adopted children I get asked a lot of questions – sometimes with Emma around (this is becoming more of a concern as she gets older and understands more). Through people's ignorance and lack of boundaries I have grown a rather thick skin and don't always realise what I say (or write) is offensive. Much like the strangers who think it's okay to ask me if my children have AIDS or what point I was trying to make adopting black children.

    I really do apologise if I offended you but like your blog, mine is my opinions, my stories, my take on life, my insecurities and my brag book…

    I'm assuming the people who read my blog enjoy my rather warped sense of humor, my self deprecating ways and the huge amount of love and adoration I have for my family.

  3. If you knew Melinda, you'd know that this reference is made with the greatest love. I am proud to call Melinda a VERY good friend and I find this post (and the comments on Twitter from whence it first came about) to be a loving reference to the two biggest joys and loves of her life.

    Melinda, thank you for this post. For your unique sense of humour. And for being YOU XXX

  4. I have to say that I definitely 'feel' your adoration through this post. I enjoy your humour and tongue-in-cheek ways.

    Like we all find ways to joke about or seriously talk about our journeys – so have you! And that's a lovely thing to behold.

  5. I guess we are all allowed our opinions, but as NickiD said, your unique sense of humor, tounge in cheek homour and your take on life are the reason I am hooked to your blog. I can count myself lucky to have met Em and know that you would lay your life down for these two very precious gifts.
    Tan32 – I am a mother to two beautiful kids that I carried and have loved since inception. I do not feel that Melinda views them as flawed and imperfect and I know passionately, that she does not think children can be bought. If you take offence to Melinda's humour, stop reading her blog…..

  6. Hey Melinda. I met you through twitter and well got hooked to your blog from the beginning. I hope you keep on writing as you do, don't change who you are cos one person's opinion. We all know “you”…the hardships you've gone through to get these beautiful babies, and what a wonderful momma you are. And that humour, priceless….

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