I’ve often wondered whether God’s black or white, male or female. At the risk of sounding blasphemous I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s definitely a man

Let’s face it if God were a woman we would have been created with 8 arms, 4 eyes, two sets of boobs and 2 vaginas

Eve tempted with an apple? I don’t think so. If God was a woman it would have been a chocolate cake, cheesecake, carrot cake or even an apple crumble. But an apple?

It took Him seven days. Wait! Six, cos he hung out on the 7th, to create the world. Women are expected to clean house, cook dinner, work, clean, feed and put babies to bed, laugh at husband’s jokes and have sex in ONE day!

Men go through a mid life crisis where they get rid of the old (wife), bring in the new (20 something) and get a snazzy little sports car. Women go through menopause where everything dries up, droops or hangs

Only a man would make a woman push a baby through a hole the size of a tic tac and give men kidney stones, yes stones, not rocks, not boulders, stones, and equate the pain to child birth

Leave it to an omnipotent man to have men know everything about everything EXCEPT how to make a bottle, when to change a nappy or when we need some alone time

Would God, if a woman, make us bleed every 28 days? If God was a She we wouldn’t have a G-spot we’d have a W-spot

If you ever needed proof that God was a man, take a look at the pic I took of the sunset just the other night

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One thought on “God’s definitely a man

  1. Hahahahaha… I'm so glad we share the same sentiments today! Mine in a far more serious light than yours.

    A Tic Tac? LMFAO! A Tic Tac? I shall never forget this one!

    God must be a man because men like beautiful slender women – so it had to be an apple! Promotes good eating habits and figures! (also the ugly side of getting there).

    I'd like to know why men get to sit around and us women got left to do everything for them and everyone else!?!

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