Candles and luxury bubble bath have been replaced with rubber ducks and shipmate bubbles
You find yourself washing with Finding Nemo bath and shower gel
You’re thrilled that you even have the time to wash yourself with Finding Nemo bath and shower gel
Your rather expensive face cream is used as a body, wall and floor lotion
Your alarm clock becomes redundant

You find the most impossible hiding place while playing hide and seek so you can have some ‘me time’
You fall asleep in your impossible to find hiding place
You have no idea what’s going on in the world but you sure as heck know what’s going on In The Night Garden and in Mickey Mouse’s Clubhouse
Sleep is no longer a necessity. It’s a luxury

The drugs no longer work
‘Nipping out’ becomes a two hour adventure
You own a sports bra. Not for  gym but for trampoline sessions
Your crying often drowns out the wailing of the kids
You blame Grey’s and adverts for your MEmo (mom emo)  moments

You wished you qualified for wheels on meals
The soothing twitching of the leg and comforting rocking from side to side becomes a habit which leaves you looking like an escaped psych patient
Smelling like vomit beats smelling like poo

Saliva is a cleaning agent and your sleeve a tissue

You are judge, juror and executioner for ALL conflict in the home

Caffeine and / or nicotine are classified as food groups for you

You hope that tomato sauce counts as a veg or a fruit because that’s all your toddler will eat

You say at least once a day, “I’m not cut out for this job”, but you know you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world…

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6 thoughts on “You know you’re a mom when…

  1. you know you're a mom when you have a child-free weekend in Cape Town with your gorgeous hubby and spend the whole time in the hotel room – actually sleeping :-p

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