A is for angelic…not! No matter how much you hope and pray, your toddler cannot be angel 24/7…though it would be nice

B is for bipolar…the way they go from happy to sad and good to bad, I swear they suffer from toddler bipolar

C is for…conditional love, something toddlers do so well. They love you when things are going their way but dislike you (a lot) when you say NO
D is for dire rear…that moment when you remove a diaper and there’s poo everywhere. Down legs, up back and neck
E is for eggy bread. Most toddlers love eggy bread. Me not so much

F is for finicky…about everything. Food. Bugs. Jelly. Sand

G is for girls…we have one of those. Apparently they’re hugely different to boys

H is for help…which is what I need at least 10 times a day when I’m dealing new toddler challenges but it never comes

I is for indignant…my new address. I permanently live ‘in Dignant’ by the look on Emma’s face. Like the look of disgust when I’m busy on my laptop and she wants to play games
J is for jumping castles…(most) toddlers love jumping castles. Emma loves the idea of a jumping castle until she sees one…then she sprints off (in the other direction) like Ben Johnson in the 100 metre dash

K is for kak…the kak they get up to in a blink of an eye when no one’s watching

L is for little things…just when you think you’re about to throttle them they do something so endearing, so sweet that you could squeeze the life out of them…in a good way

M is for monkey…I call Emma ‘monkey’. Apparently it’s not PC to call a black toddler a monkey however I see and hear it all the time around me so clearly it’s ok

N is for night time, nose, noise…and NO. Emma, NO, don’t pick your nose. Emma NO, stop making so much noise, Emma, NO it’s night time, we can’t swim now and Emma, NO, it’s not nice to stick your finger in your bum and definitely NO, I don’t want to smell it

O is for obnoxious (see below) there’s a very fine line between obnoxious and precocious. In fact they’re alongside one another in the ABC’s of Toddlers

P is for precocious (see above) there’s a very fine line between obnoxious and precocious. In fact they’re alongside one another in the ABC’s of Toddlers

Q is for qurious, qute, quddly, qomplicated…all the things toddlers are (yes I know they all start with a ‘c’ but I’ve got poetic license here)

R is for rambunctious…a big word for little people. Although not always a positive association I love toddlers with personality

S is for sugary sweet…little girls are made of sugar and spice and all things nice…and so are little boys

T is for things forgotten…like lie-ins, toilet time in peace and quiet, bath time in peace and quiet, reading time in peace quiet, dinner time in peace in and quiet, child-unfriendly holiday spots, leisurely hair dressing appointments, etc etc etc

U is for undignified (see N)…that moment when a toddler shoves a finger (knuckle deep) into their nose or tells the nursery school teacher we were late because mommy was having a poo


V is for voice…outside voice vs. inside voice. There’s a distinct difference between the two

W is for what (the f***) were we thinking?

X is for wouldn’t x-change it for the world

Y is for youth…and everything that goes with it. Toddlers have time on their side and a lifetime of hopes, dreams and passions ahead of them

Z is for zzzzzzzzzz…the sound I look forward to at the end of a long day with my toddler but secretly hoping she’ll wake up soon so it can all start again

3 thoughts on “The ABC’s of Toddlers

  1. Where is the LOVE button for this post?! I have a 3-year-old boy and i can SO relate. What about Q is for quiet … what I long for but when I hear it I run to investigate because I know it signals danger!

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