Mmm, gonna try with a little help from my meds
Ooh, I get high with a little help from my meds
Yes I get by with a little help from my meds,
with a little help from my meds
Anyone who suffers from depression, be it hereditary, be it because of an incident in your life or be it post-baby blues, will know it’s a double edged sword. You’re so tired all you want to do is sleep. But insomnia sets in and there goes that idea. You’re moody, you’re irritable. Your partner tip-toes around you in case he gets the sharp end of the sword. You burst into tears at the slightest thing and rant and rave at anyone who cares to listen…
Of course it’s important to get the balance right. You don’t want to be a ‘mombie’ or ‘the working dead’. You still want to be able to laugh and cry, just at the right times. This means regular visits to your GP or shrink. And I’ve got another visit coming up soon cos I’m not very pleasant right now!
Just this morning I lost it with Ester, Emma’s nanny. Emma’s had a bit of a cough the last few days. We’ve got it under control. We nebulize, we put drops in her nose, we monitor and watch. So this morning Ester asked me if Emma was going to go to holiday club. I said yes, she’ll be going but if she’s not feeling well then the teacher can call us and we’ll fetch her. Ester politely TOLD ME that she wasn’t going to be taking Emma to school. Emma’s not well and she must stay home…
Now I’m sure most of you would normally react to this in your own way. But what I would normally do is this:
In the kitchen – Okay Estie. She can stay with you today
In the car on the way to work – Who the f*** does she think she is? That’s my f***** daughter, not hers………
You see, sweet and kind to everyone else. Devilish to myself!
But today I calmly, almost too calmly said, “Ester, Emma is our child (Mark happened to be standing in the kitchen) and she will be going to school today. When she’s finished her breakfast and she’s dressed you will take her to school…I will ask ***** to call us should Emma not feel well.”
I know I’m beyond irritated at the moment. I know that I need to up something and maybe add in something else because I’m not myself at the moment. I’m usually generally quite happy-go-lucky. I go with the flow and not much bothers me, outwardly. I’m anything but that at the moment. I’m more happy-go-f***-yourself.
In the last few weeks I have had three or four mommy friends go onto an anti-depressant. I think it’s been difficult for them to admit they needed ‘the help’ and one even suggested that she feels guilty because the tablet is being a mother to her children. The reality is, children are stressful. Not sleeping is stressful. The fact that you’re brave enough to ask for help means you’re been a good mom…and the tablets are simply helping you maintain that.
Society places its own pressures on women to achieve, mother, wife and a whole lot more AND then we as (un)fair sex place ADDITIONAL pressure on ourselves. We think we need to be able to run households, run departments, run companies and be perfect mothers, wives, friends, employees, employers, etc.
My advice is that if that little tablet can help you be a better mom to your little ones then do it. If it’s going to blur the edges for a little while, then do it. If you feel like you need them, then do it. If it’s going to stop you snapping at everyone like a hungry crocodile, then do it..
I get by with a little help from my meds all the time