We all know what kids want for Christmas. Gadgets, gizmos, Wii’s, bikes, dolls and a whole lot more. But what happens when the kid in question has been too naughty to get anything nice or the presenter of the present just has no clue…

I found this rather fun list of the 10 WORST GIFTS FOR KIDS. Should your child / ren ever receive one of these, the only use is to pass it on to a kid with parents you don’t like…

Temporary Tattoos
So maybe some temporary tattoos would make a good gift for your kid if the tattoos were well vetted, just make sure you don’t go as wrong as some – we’ve seen temporary tattoos with KKK members, lizards on nails and various other items that would make your kids look like little terrorists. Even if you want your kid to grow up to be a biker, these may be a little much!

Drum Set
If you want a permanent headache then get your kid a drum set, otherwise stay away. The world is in need of more drummers and maybe your kid is a budding musician but stay away from this noisy implement. You don’t want them growing up to be the butt of every musician’s joke and bands always practise at the drummer’s house. I’m just saying…

Kids Knives
Sure, developers have spent many years developing kid friendly kitchen knives. As far as we can tell what they’ve done is make sure that the point is blunt and painted them in nice bright kid-appealing colours, so the kids want to play with sharp things. Basically, they can’t stab but they can slice their fingers off. Nice. Of course there’s no telling if this obsession will stay with them in later years and you’re adding WANTED posters to your memory box

A Mini Accordion
If you thought the drum set was expensive but you still want to go musical, then try out a mini accordion. It is the favourite musical instrument of the French so clearly its terrible, and the mini accordion is a replica of something terrible. Sounds great!

Come on, these are a terrible idea for anyone and you can’t think of anything more creative? Go back to imagination school.

Knitted Sweaters
While its very nice to give something that you made yourself and we commend you for taking the time to learn a craft, don’t make sweaters to give for Christmas. They itch, they’re universally ugly and they’ll never be worn after the day you give the gift. Frankly, they won’t even be worn on the day you give the gift unless you’re there. Give up, get a life and knit a scarf. Those are useful.

Anything Remote Controlled
We were going to suggest that remote control cars were a bad idea until we realised that planes, trains, tanks, and just about anything else with a remote control is a bad idea. They’ll knock things over, bruise ankles, cause fights and destroy the furniture. There’s a reason we don’t let kids drive until their late teens. We recommend you keep it out of the home as well.

Porcelain Dolls
If you think about gifts for a little girl the dolls come to mind pretty quickly, but really, buying ones that are designed to be ornaments? If you’ve met a kid who will see these as the investment that they are then more power to them, they’re probably the next Bill Gates, but most kids will destroy them long before their next birthday. It’s probably better to get a soft doll, you know, one they can play with. Also most of them are as scary as all hell, so unless you’re the carnival director, living in the House of Horrors I’d suggest you stay away.

Scratch Offs
Obviously, there is the chance to win a huge amount of money but really, do we want to be teaching our kids to gamble shortly after they’ve learned to walk. You may want to but we suspect their parents will think otherwise. Instead of a dollar scratcher how about you give them nothing and tell them you lost their gift trying to win their gift playing roulette. That’s a recipe for a great holiday.

A Cemetery Plot
While it’s never too late to start thinking about your final plans, its probably not the best gift for a kid, even if it does have lovely dirt or a great view. Frankly, this is even tasteless for your grandparents and they’re a lot closer to *ahem* moving in than any kid we’ve ever met. Well, the ones that didn’t play in traffic.



One thought on “What not to buy your kids for Christmas

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