In August I wrote a blog about Joshua http://melindasmemoirsmumbled.blogspot.com/2011/08/in-loving-memory-of-joshua.html, a little boy who had suddenly passed away at the tender age of nine.
The memorial service was beautiful, sad, moving and fun – believe it or not? His mom and dad had a kiddies table with sweets and popcorn and ice cream and lollipops and hot dogs and slush puppies. All of Josh’s favourite things. His favourite toys were there, which his friends from school could take home. I personally thought this would turn into a riot, but with an understanding that reached far beyond their years, his school mates chose very carefully, as if there had been an unspoken agreement of which toy Joshua would want each friend to have. There were school teachers, sports coaches, school friends, family, friends and loads of children. One little boy played the piano in honour of Josh. One of his coaches did a rather funny presentation of Josh in action and his little ‘girlfriend’, all of nine years old, gave the most beautiful dedication.
When the pastor finished off, he said that we were not all gathered together because Josh had died, but rather because he had lived and in his very short time on earth he had touched so many people in the most amazing ways. I think after that service moms and dads hugged their kiddies tighter, laughed louder and cherished every valuable moment together.
Mark meets Josh’s dad, Christian, for a drink every now and then and they talk about Josh often. At times Christian is strong but other times he breaks down and cries for his boy. It’s been tough for the family, Christian, Joss and their little girl. Mom and dad have found very different ways to deal with the death of their son. Dad is a little more ‘stoic’, accepting that Josh is gone and celebrating the time he had with him. Joss is battling. She cannot accept it, won’t accept it and can’t understand why it happened.
But yesterday Christian had some good news for Mark. They’re seven weeks pregnant. Mark and Christian had a beer to celebrate and he’s over the moon. Mark of course asked how Joss is doing and whether she’s excited about the news.
She’s not. She doesn’t want Josh to think he’s been replaced. She doesn’t want family and friends to think that either. And I think I understand. To be very honest, I never want to be in a position where I can say I know exactly how she feels because that would mean I would have had to experience what she has. And I don’t think I would get through that in one piece.
But when Mark told me the news I was excited and my thoughts turned to Josh immediately. He was nine years old when he passed away. His little sister is six or thereabouts. They hadn’t thought about falling pregnant again – they had a boy and a girl and their family was complete. Clearly Joss’ reaction to this is an indication that it was not planned but now, out of the blue, she’s pregnant. Could little Joshua have had a hand in this?
I know this is all airy-fairy, and you may ask me what I’m smoking, sniffing, snorting or injecting, but I do know know that a very dear friend of mine, who had been married for 10 years, had never used birth control, never thought of having a baby due to health and age, suddenly (and quite frankly miraculously) fell pregnant one month after her mother had passed away…