A Naartjie is a dangerous fruit…

This morning I had a meeting in Peter Place at 08h30 until 09h30. As soon as the meeting was over I jumped into my car and made my way to the Naartjie store at the Epsom Downs shopping centre. I’m such a regular there even the security guard knows my name.

I had to go. I mean I got an URGENT sms on Wednesday saying that their new stock is available on Thursday. Best I could do was to get there Friday. Emma should be their poster-child she has so many Naartjie outfits and today was no different. Even with a 25% discount, thanks to Your Baby & Toddler magazine, I still managed to spend over R1000 on non-essentials. As I was paying I told the gorgeous sales lady that I would have to hide the packet in the car and slowly bring things out one by one, claiming “This old thing? Emma’s had it for ages!” when Mark asks if that’s new…

So I’m already thinking of the excuses I can use when I get interrogated and cross-examined about this unnecessary shopping spree. Below are the Top 10 excuses women (and mothers) use when buying things that weren’t needed:

No.1 – It was on sale…of course it was and so it just had to be bought
No.2 – I needed cheering up…of course you did. A slab of chocolate wouldn’t have done the same job
No.3 – I deserved to treat myself…because the other three outfits, bottle of perfume and shoes weren’t a treat. They were more of a necessity
No.4 – I’ve wanted it for ages…of course you did dear
No.5 – I haven’t bought anything new in ages…that you’ve seen because I hide all the packets away
No.6 – I never spend much on myself…because the three outfits, bottle of perfume and shoes weren’t actually for me
No.7 – I’ll get a lot of wear out of it…until I see the next got to have item
No.8 – I really need it…because the 15 other white shirts I have look nothing like this
No.9 – I saved money elsewhere so I deserved to splash out…spending the money I saved plus another R1000
No.10 – I need it for a party…that I probably won’t go to because I’m so exhausted from all the shopping I’ve done

Any of these sound familiar?

Because Mark never buys Emma’s clothes he’s not familiar with what’s in her cupboard, spilling out of the drawers onto the floor, so I can, if I move quickly enough, get the price tags off, dispense of the packet and sneak them in amongst other clothes OR I leave them in the car and take an item out one day at a time. I also use the “it was on sale” on him as well as the “I just knew how cute Emma would look in it”.

It’s getting harder though, now that Emma is quite verbal. He’ll ask if he’s seen an outfit before and I’ll say “yes” with 150% conviction. Emma will do a ballet twirl in her new gear and say “no, it’s new daddy”. My response to that is “just how much can you trust what a toddler says?”

I also use the fact that she is quite a physical child and loves playing in the water and dirt, so one change of clothes is never enough. “Well then, do we really need 25 pairs of leggings, five swimming costumes and seven hats?” Yes we do love…yes we do.

Another one of my more frequently used excuses is “but it was the last one…that just happened to be in the size and colour I wanted!”

And of course there’s a whole lot of ‘what if’ purchases. What if she gets invited to a princess party and needs an outfit with a tutu? What if we get an invite to a cherry-picking theme party and she has nothing to wear? What if she has to do a recital in the next two weeks and we don’t have anything smart enough for her to wear? What if we get robbed and ALL of her clothes are taken…this a good hiding spot? That’s the excuse I use when Mark finds the various packets in the car boot. What if Emma goes on a safari and I don’t have cargo pants for her? What if I leave her denim jacket at some one’s house? At least the other 10 will be here.

Next purchase will need to be a new cupboard because it was on sale I needed cheering up I deserved it I’ve wanted it for ages I haven’t bought anything new for changes I never spend much on myself I’ll get a lot of use out of it I really need it I saved money on something else I need it for a party. I might also have to buy a bigger car so I can hide the cupboard in there for a few days…